Ten

He Truly Lived

Ten. Alone it might not mean all that much. Quantified in years, it still doesn’t seem to mean all that much. Thinking about the ten’s in my life, I haven’t had too many of them, just under 3 decades of living. There are really only two hobbies that I can say safely that I have done for longer than ten years: walking and skiing. According, to the experts it requires 10 years or 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert in something. I have walked all over the world and summited peak upon peak. I am sure long ago all that walking added up to at least 10,000 hours; thus, I guess I am an expert. I have skied thousands of trails some hard with ice, others buried in glorious white champagne powder. For this, I can surely count a generous ten years of experience that has lead to total expertise.

This year marks the receipt of another ten-year chip: a chip in grief, loss, moments of loneliness, but more importantly living on. If you had asked me ten years ago today what areas I would claim myself to be an “expert” in, I probably would have only listed walking and skiing. It is funny the master plan that we are only privy to little by little. I have to say, that on the surface, this part of the plan was not ideal. But when I peel back the layers of loss and grief and the moments of loneliness I always find that beautiful center.  A center that any sailor lost at sea or any explorer trying to get back home prays they will find. As it was in this ultimate loss, that I found my beacon and my North Star—I found my ultimate way to live: to see the extraordinary in the ordinary, to aim beyond the standard, and to fall head first into my greatest love to date.

So yes, I guess I have earned my ten-year expert chip in the ups and downs of grief. I have earned my ten-year expert chip in navigating the devastating loss and I suppose I have earned my ten-year expert chip in over coming those moments when all you have is you. The ten-year chip I most proud in and the ten-year chip I know he would be most proud of…the chip of living on. And living on I have done: 2 years of sharing life with a partner who never lets me settle, seven years of higher education, ten years of traveling the world, and a lifetime of love and memories.

So world…bring on the next ten years and I will gladly take another chip! As I will continue to Live, because living is what he would have wanted and I know it through this living that his memory and his legacy lives on not only in me, but in those who I surround myself with.

Xoxo

E